In this series we take a critical look at some of the "bad advice" to which we often fall prey, and contrast it to the godly advice we all need to take.
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Matthew 5:27
"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'
65% of husbands and 55% of wives will commit adultery.
Journal of Psychology and Christianity
Why is it that so many people who never thought they would ever commit adultery, do commit adultery?
BAD ADVICE: Just take 3 easy steps…
1. NEGLECT your marriage.
· Don't give them your best.
· Give them your worst.
· Stop talking.
· Stop dating or working at romance.
2. Enjoy your marriage.
· Don't give them your best.
· Give them your worst.
· Stop talking.
· Stop dating or working at romance.
3. Enjoy COMMON interests and form an interests and form an EMOTIONAL bond with someone else.
· Go by their desk, or otherwise make sure your paths cross.
· Flirt a little.
· Catch their eye. Dress provocatively.
· Text after work.
· Whatever you do, hide this from your spouse.
Spiritually minded? Say this:
"I'll be praying for you."
"I really care for you…"
"I've got you on my heart…"
3. Make EXCUSES and and RATIONALIZE your actions.
"She wasn't meeting my needs."
"If he would pay some attention to me."
"If I didn't have to put up with all his _________ all the time…"
Make excuses. Blame your spouse.
This will make you feel better every time.
Then tell yourself,
"Well I'm not happy and God wants me happy no matter what."
"My highest and best calling is that I would be happy."
"I am not really going to go through with it."
"I would never actually commit adultery".
"What we are doing is harmless."
"I'm just being playful."
After a close call … tell yourself…
"Maybe this other relationship was meant to be!
"Maybe this is what God really wants for me!
GODLY ADVICE: Do whatever it takes to…
1. Radically reduce the RISKS
Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
A powerful question:
If your spouse could see a video feed of you all day long, would your spouse be blessed by what they saw, or hurt by what they saw?
· Keep a growing relationship with Christ.
· Keep a growing relationship with your spouse.
· Never talk bad about your spouse.
· Surround yourself with strong marriages.
· Avoid all inappropriate media, places, and situations.
· Never be alone with the wrong people.
2. Invest passionately in your
If your spouse could see a video feed of you all day long, would your spouse be blessed by what they saw, or hurt by what they saw?
· Keep a growing relationship with Christ.
· Keep a growing relationship with your spouse.
· Never talk bad about your spouse.
· Surround yourself with strong marriages.
· Avoid all inappropriate media, places, and situations.
· Never be alone with the wrong people.
2. Invest passionately in your MARRIAGE
Proverbs 5:19-20 (NIV)
… satisfysatisfy you always, may you ever be you always, may you ever be intoxicatedintoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife?
I am not a "mistaker" in need of a life-coach, I am a sinner in need of a savior.
If we aim everything to OUR satisfaction, we say crushing things like "You are not meeting my needs".
With a savior, our upside down "love" is turned right side up and thinks instead, "How can I serve you and meet your needs."
3. Visualize the potential DESTRUCTION
· What percentage of people actually marry the forbidden lover? 3%
· What percentage of those marriages end in divorce? 75%
· What are the odds of a lasting marriage with that lover? .075%
Getting caught in secret sin is horrible! There is only one thing worse. NOT getting caught.
Matthew 5:30
And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
Dear God,
You desire trust, love, joy, peace, and security through faithfulness. I desire this too. Lord Jesus, I need you. Will You show me where I can add strength, protection, and beauty to my (future) marriage? Holy Spirit, I invite Your power and purity into my life and into all of my relationships. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
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